The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
