Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
