Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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