38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
