I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
