So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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