so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
