I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
