Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
