just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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