That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize