Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
where are my eyebrows?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
