Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
