The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
