This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
