Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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