His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
