Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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