So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
