So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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