hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Come share oat with me in your robe
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize