Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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