You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
