she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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