Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My bed smells like the plague
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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