He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
