why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize