Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
