Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
