you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize