I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
