mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
