Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
