i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
