You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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