it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need a beard to bite.
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