Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
