think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
