If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize