i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize