Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
