I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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