I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
