You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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