Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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