Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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