great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
