this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
