Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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