I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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