i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
