There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Two words: blizzard sex
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
