So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
