i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
