Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
