i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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