If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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