So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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