What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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