I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
