bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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