Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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