Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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