I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
