Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
