After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
