I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize