he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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